The A.R.E. skills matter more than ever

Perhaps this is what your team needs from you:

Agreeableness is not the same as agreeing. In fact, they have little in common. Finding someone who’s only job is to agree with everything that is said is easy. On the other hand, agreeableness is the skill of having a contrary position and being pleasant about it. It’s the hard work of bringing professional work to people who expected something else–and have them still be pleased about the changes. Agreeableness is a skill and it’s a choice. Being contrary is a form of Resistance, a way to deal with our fear.

Receptivity is our openness to better. We’re here to make change happen, and the path forward can’t possibly be perfectly known before we begin. Receptivity combines curiosity, awareness and a desire for improvement. The receptive person asks good questions and says ‘thank you’ to useful feedback.

Enthusiasm connects the two, and it’s contagious. When the auditorium is half empty, with folks sitting in the back row with their laptops open, hesitant to ask questions–do you expect that the professor or speaker is going to do their best work? What happens in the hallways or the Zoom room is often a direct result of how much enthusiasm we choose to bring to the interaction.